The second interview with the greatest gamer ever, Dr. Leetsauce!
To check out the first interview, click here: Greatest Gamer Ever!
MMOverflow – Dr. Leetsauce, it’s great to have you back for another exclusive interview.
Dr. Leetsauce – It should be.
MMOverflow – Right. In our last interview, I mentioned that we’d be talking about your “gaming habits” which you were quick to re-label “training regiments and skill building exercises.” I think our readers would love to know exactly what it is that you do to prepare for a hardcore gaming session. Could you enlighten us, please?
Dr. Leetsauce – Certainly, but I have a different, grueling schedule for each game type. Which would you like to hear about? Currently I’m dominating in MMORPG and MMOFPS.
MMOverflow – Let’s hear about your first-person shooter (FPS) training first. I’m sure this is going to be exciting.
Dr. Leetsauce – It is; more exciting than a freshly brewed, hot coffee enema. I love the hazelnut blend; it leaves a refreshing, nutty scent which is always nice when…
MMOverflow – Ah hem. FPS!?
Dr. Leetsauce – Oh right. First-person shooters are all about accuracy, twitch reaction times and an advanced sense of awareness of one’s surroundings, so I train those skills.
Accuracy is all about sensitive hands. I use my favorite game of all time, Operation, to keep my fingers nimble and steady. Mom still loves to play that one with me. Sometimes she’ll even cheer, “Leetsauce, Leetsauce, Leetsauce, he’s my little doctor!” It’s sweet, though sometimes I think it’s a method to break my concentration and kill my patient. She can be a tricky devil, but I’ve kept count and she’s only ever beaten me once, and in my defense, I was playing with my toes because I had broken both of my arms in a horrible Twister accident.
MMOverflow – You were in a tornado, which broke both of your arms, and you survived?
Dr. Leetsauce – No. I said Twister accident, as in the game. Somebody spilled a bottle of baby oil while we were in an aggressive 4-way tangle and my arms were broken in the carnage.
MMOverflow – Oh heh…em…ah (soft chuckles). Well, that’s just terrible. At least you’re okay now. I apologize for interrupting, please, I think you were about to explain how you train “twitch reaction times.”
Dr. Leetsauce – Slapsies.
MMOverflow – Excuse me?
Dr. Leetsauce – Slapsies. It is the only way to build effective twitch reactions. Most people’s nerves are shot. They tremble and prematurely pull their hands away with the first fake out. I, on the other hand, am steady like a planet without tectonic plates. In fact, I dominate my little brother (haha), his hands are always purple after I get a dozen free slaps in! 5 year olds, they just never learn.
As for advanced awareness; it is a God given talent. Sometimes I’ll light some incense, blindfold myself, and step out onto the highway to dodge cars using only my heightened sense of hearing to determine the vehicles’ location. Placing oneself in a life and death situation can be great inspiration to succeed.
MMOverflow – You can dodge cars on a highway without using your eyes? That’s unbelievable. Do the sounds from the cars seem to blend together when they are close to each other, therefore limiting your ability to judge where they are coming from?
Dr. Leetsauce – How would I know? I live in Montana. It’s a two-lane highway and cars come one every 30-minutes. It’s invigorating when you finally realize which direction the car is coming and you move out of the way before it hits the pothole about 75 yards up the road.
MMOverflow – Oh. Well. Haha. Eh hem. I’m sorry, (chuckling), I must have something in my throat. So, Doctor, since your FPS training is so intense; I’m wondering if your RPG regiment is similar?
Dr. Leetsauce – It’s similar, but in a completely different way.
For instance, RPGs don’t require the same skill set as FPS games. An understanding of medieval tactics, an impeccable memory of combat rotations for ones chosen class as well as all enemy classes, and an ability to grind the same content over and over and over and over again without succumbing to MMO burnout are the skills needed for an MMORPG.
MMOverflow – I see. So, how do you train for each of those skills?
Dr. Leetsauce – Every Friday I head over to the Renaissance Fair to watch knights in action. Then I sit and chat with fellow strategists at my good friend, King Henry the First’s, dinner party. The leg of lamb with the mint jelly is nearly as good as I am at video games.
Anyway, we talk medieval tactics, strategy and general warfare. We’ll even participate in duels and mock battles. The learning experience is unequivocal. The professor of ancient history at Harvard actually comes there to take notes.
MMOverflow – I find that very hard to believe; a Harvard University professor taking notes at the Renaissance Fair? Come on.
Dr. Leetsauce – Harvard Jr/Sr High School. Though I’m sure if it wasn’t such a far ride, the Harvard University professor would attend the Fair as well. It’s an excellent adventure into the past!
To get back on point, I train my memory (for combat rotations) by playing an old classic, Simon. Red, green, blue, yellow, green, red, blue, green, blue, red, yellow, yellow, red, blue, blue. That’s actually the last combination I had in Simon about 9 days ago; my memory is that damn good now. I believe somebody said the high score was 3000+ hits, and I’m sure I’ve beaten that, I’m not one for mindless competition though, so I’ve never recorded it.
MMOverflow – The only skill left that you haven’t discussed is the ability to handle a massive gear grind in modern MMORPGs. Is there some special technique to that?
Dr. Leetsauce – While alcohol or marijuana is a useful option for many, I prefer the birthday suit method.
MMOverflow – The what?
Dr. Leetsauce – The birthday suit method. I open a window in January, turn the fan on, strip down and feel the chill penetrate my soul. Eventually my fingers will numb and the once mindless grind becomes a challenging exercise of will and frozen digit dexterity. No foe is ever easy, but victory is so satisfying that it’s more erotic than (he glances suspiciously at his right palm) uh, sex!
MMOverflow – It’s nice to know that you aren’t a severely disturbed individual.
Dr. Leetsauce – I know, right?
MMOverflow – Sarcasm… Well thanks for coming in again, Dr. Leetsauce. It’s been a pleas…it’s been interesting.
Dr. Leetsauce – It usually is.