Dr. Leetsauce Interview Number 3!
Hey folks! It’s time for our third exclusive interview with self-proclaimed best gamer in the world, Dr. Leetsauce!
For previous interviews with the Greatest Gamer Ever, click the links below:
MMOverflow – We’re excited to have you back for another interview, Dr.
Dr. Leetsauce – Every time I glance in a mirror I tremble with pleasure, so I can imagine how exciting it is for you be in my presence.
MMOverflow – Right, moving on. Our last interview dove deep into your “training regiments and skill building exercises” and I wanted to expand upon that with specific things you like to do in an MMORPG. Usually, the first thing a player does in a new MMORPG is create a character. How do you go about that process?
Dr. Leetsauce – Well, Chris, can I call you Chris?
MMOverflow – Umm, no, my name is Adam…
Dr. Leetsauce – Okay, I don’t like that name, so I’ll just call you Bub. Now, Bub, I’m glad you asked about character creation, because so many gamers overlook the skill aspects of character creation. Most players believe the choices are purely cosmetic, but the psychology of a well created player avatar can wreak havoc on an unsuspecting gamers mind.
MMOverflow – I’m not sure I follow.
Dr. Leetsauce – I wouldn’t expect you to be able to understand my advanced theory, so I’ll elaborate. Most MMORPG players are male, and a very specific type of male at that. What do nerds, geeks, and eurotophobians have in common? They fear vagina.
With that in mind, the best character sex to choose is female. There is a problem in that many of those same male gamers will make their own female avatars in order to stare at the virtual hotness that they themselves can never have in the real world. So, to prove that you are, in fact, sporting a bun and not a hotdog, you need to create an ugly female avatar. No man would make an ugly woman character to ogle, so the logical assumption is that ugly female avatar = real woman playing. The genius part is that you are actually a male! That’s step 1.
MMOverflow – That’s ridiculous and completely idiotic, not to mention offensive in so many ways.
Dr. Leetsauce – No, Bub, what’s offensive is that awful sweater you choose to wear today.
MMOverflow – It’s a black hooded sweatshirt, a classic…
Dr. Leetsauce – Gone with the Wind is a classic as well, but I wouldn’t wear it on me.
MMOverflow – You’re wearing a pleather Whitesnake jacket circa 1988! Never mind I suppose we’ll continue the interview where we left off. What do you do after you choose your character’s sex?
Dr. Leetsauce – I delete her and play a male character in my likeness. While fear is a strong card to have, radiance is stronger. While players are caught off guard by my infinite handsomeness and bottomless appeal, I take the time to smack them in the face with a hammer.
MMOverflow – You’re joking, right?
Dr. Leetsauce – I never joke, except when I’m in the mood to be funny.
MMOverflow – I think we’re done here. Thanks for stopping by, I guess.
Dr. Leetsauce – Fine, but you’re depriving your viewers of more elite tips and strategies I use when I’m in the mood to be even better than amazing.
MMOverflow – Maybe next time… Thanks for reading, folks.